Shya!

"I went to Mars Bar by myself and this older woman was in there and she asked me if I was MILF hunting and I was like shya! and I made out with her and she was like what do you do and I was like I'm a teacher and I was like what do you do and she was like I'm a fucked-up secret primo $100 an eighth weed delivery person and I was like nyah! and she was like shya! and I was like make out with me again and made out with her again and then I was like what kind of fucked-up secret primo $100 an eighth weed is that and she was like Blueberry! and I was like let's go back to my place and smoke that shit and then I just pulled down her panties right on the street and put them in my pocket and then we went back to my place and smoked that shit. After we hooked up, she was going to sleep over but didn't because her neck was hurting and she got a cab home but she forgot her bag of fucked-up secret primo $100 an eighth blueberry weed here and now it's mine the end."
-nymag


Like, amazing.